Click here to read about my last appointment.
How Did the Last Two Weeks Go?
The last two weeks have been great. I am working hard during the lame months of January of February when Idaho is a frozen tundra. I’ve been consistent with my exercises and am pushing hard. The hard work has brought two new developments to my vision that have the potential to make a big difference!
1- Bringing the Vectogram to Me
At appointment 19 on January 6, 2020 I had a mental breakthrough. So much of my struggle is visualizing. I am constantly fighting my brain’s belief that everything is flat. When I work with the vectograph I can see that my finger goes into the ring when I tap it, but I can’t actually see the ring closer to me. I try so hard to get it to move into the space between me and the actual card, but can’t.
At one point Dr. Dan put on the glasses and pointed to the air where he was seeing the ring. He said, “It’s right here.” so confidently. I realized that I was trying to see it move towards me, but instead I should focus my gaze where I wanted to see the ring.
I mentioned this and Dr. Dan and I both had different epiphanies. I usually have a post-it note on the vectograph and I stare at it and then try to see the ring with my peripheral vision. Instead he told me to focus on the ring, and I realized that I needed to imagine it closer which meant my eyes were going to be more crossed.
I visualized the ring between me and the vectograph, like in the picture below and tried to focus my eyes at that point instead of on the actual vectograph.
I used my experience with the Brock String and how it feels to cross my eyes on the beads at different distances and tried to use that to know how much to cross them. Dr. Dan pointed out that the ring would be closer and in the background the post-it would actually be double.
I’ve been working so hard on this concept all week and it is working. It is so tricky but I am on the verge. If I don’t use my hands, the whole window moves towards me and gets closer with the ring an inch or two in front of it, once I touch it, it moves back. I’m still working on getting the ring to separate and come off the window. Sometimes I catch a flicker and can see the space between and it is so exciting.
When the ring is supposed to be “behind” the window I’m not able to quite do it. My eyes struggle with the distance views, but I’m sure it won’t be too far behind.
I love having a new way to think about these old exercises!
2- Reading With Both Eyes
I am doing a challenge with my son to read The Book of Mormon in 90 days, which means 6 pages each day. I randomly decided to try reading with both eyes one night and realized that I was able to use both eyes to read. I asked my husband to watch and record me reading so with a little feedback from him I was able to get the feeling of using both eyes together down.
That first night I only made it a half page and was physically ill afterward. So nauseous and dizzy. Each day it got a little better. On day 6 I didn’t read at all or do therapy so on day 7 I had to make up the difference. I read 10 pages at once and pushed really hard to the point that my eyes were watering and burning pretty badly.
Usually when it starts to burn, I blink and allow my right eye to go lazy, but I worked to keep it engaged while it burned. That was yesterday morning and I am still feeling the effects. By last night my head was throbbing and I didn’t feel like I could open my eyes. I was disoriented and my eyes just felt weird, and of course that feeling of being in the first trimester of pregnancy was going strong.
I feel like this after appointments on occasion and it always seems to go away with a good nights rest. But I woke up today still feeling it. I prayed for the disoriented feelings to go away so that I could have a successful appointment and about two minutes later the Folgers jingle entered my mind and did not exit. I just kept singing, “the best part of waking up…” you know the rest. I don’t drink coffee, or soda or anything besides water. But I kept thinking that maybe my body just needed some caffeine to help my brain settle down (this helps my son that has some mild ADHD at school). I happened to have some caffeinated flavored water on hand so I had one of those and it totally helped! I felt like I could maintain my gaze and the nausea went away.
I felt good going into my appointment and I feel like God has taught me another great little trick for navigating strabismus.
As much as I dislike the ill effects, I love them even more. It means that my brain is adjusting and changing and learning and growing. When I go to the gym I want to feel sore the next day. It means that I’m pushing hard and building muscle. I don’t want to feel sore for a week and not be able to walk so balance is required. The same is true with my eyes, I’ve just got to figure out how to push hard without going overboard.
How Did My Appointment Go?
Binovi Touch Board
We started on the touch board. I stood on a balance board and did two tries on my left eye (74 and 81) and two on my right (65-70ish). Nothing was too exciting here.
Lies with a +3 Lens
Next we did something new that was ridiculous. I covered one eye and placed a +3 lens in front of the other and tried to notice if the pen Dr. Dan was holding got bigger, smaller, closer or further. It definitely got smaller and looked further away. I tried it on both eyes and got the same results. The expo marker definitely got skinnier and shorter and further back.
I finally just asked what the purpose was and what I was trying to accomplish because it didn’t make any sense. Then he dropped a truth bomb. Apparently, with a +3 lens, the pen should look closer when I cover my eye. I tried again and again, but it still looked smaller and further away. I’m still half wondering if he gave me the wrong lens…
I still have no idea what it means or what that was all about, but I’m documenting just in case it all becomes clear later.
Vectograph Visualization
I already talked about the vectograph above so I won’t go too far into details here. But I kept working on looking for it where it is supposed to be instead of waiting for it to just appear there. I am going to try putting a small object between the vectograph and myself (like a puff ball on the end of a stick or something) and try to make the ring go around it. It was my own idea and I’m feeling quite brilliant for coming up with it. Hopefully it’s a winner!
Brock String Fail
At this point I started struggling pretty badly. My eyes just wouldn’t do what they were supposed to. I could barely see an “x” on the Brock String. Dr. Dan gave me some extra tips to try this week though. I am going to try focusing on one bead and then covering each eye and feeling if my eye stays steady, or has to move to continue looking at the bead. It is another great way to get feedback!
3D Anaglyph
I watched a YouTube 3D anaglyph movie about fish and there were a few moments of seeing the 3D, but not nearly as clearly as the first time. My eyes were tired and we ran out of time so that was all we did today.
Homework
- Pola Mirror- Using polarized glasses look in the mirror and try to see both sides of the glasses as clear. Work on backing up and moving head side to side.
- Brock String- Open Periphery and try to see double with the beads before and after the one I’m concentrating on. Use red/blue glasses to help give feedback. Cover and uncover each eye and notice the shift.
- Gem Vectogram- Tape to the window and work on visualizing it in front of or behind the window. Hold something between me and the window and use that as a reference point to visualize it more easily.
- Virtual Reality
Click here to read about my next appointment.