To read about last week’s appointment, click here.
How Did the Last Week Go?
I have been working so hard this week on my vision therapy! Every chance I get, I am practicing looking into the distance and seeing big.
I’ve noticed that I experience the most double vision when I am in the car. Up close, my brain is pretty effectively suppressing, but the distance stuff is still a work in progress.
I’m noticing that as I open up my peripheral vision, the double goes away, even if it’s only momentarily. I had several opportunities this week, as a passenger in the car, to practice this concept: opening up my peripheral to take in more of the scene and allowing the double to slowly go in and out.
It takes a constant reminder to relax and breath. It helps for me to tap my toes, snap my fingers or chat with someone to stay distracted. SO opposite of how it used to be. I used to have to concentrate so hard to make my vision work, now I have to concentrate on not concentrating…or something like that. It is all very new for me.
One night last week I experienced a lot of visual confusion, maybe some stereopsis and a whole lot of nausea on the way to and from and at my son’s soccer game. I was practicing my relaxation and peripheral techniques and things were changing in the distance. I couldn’t really put my finger on what was changing, but I had to close my eyes multiple time because the visual stimulation was overwhelming and I was about to be sick.
Even though I can’t articulate what I was seeing or what was happening, I know that I was relaxing. I know that my peripheral was open. I know that my brain was trying to sort something out. I know that it was GOOD, even if I felt a little yucky.
My goal is to slow down and keep allowing those moments for my brain to sort things out.
To allow more of that time, I decided to start running for just 10 minutes in the morning and practicing peripheral during that time. I did it yesterday and it was great.
I can do this. I can relax and allow things to happen. When I relax, my brain has the opportunity to learn and grow. I have the potential for stereopsis. *Repeat 5 times daily*
How Did the Appointment Go?
It has been 4 weeks since my strabismus surgery (read about it here) and the redness is definitely starting to settle down. I have pink spots for sure, but I’m feeling more normal in that way. I still feel quite a stretch when I try to look out to the sides, but I feel like that is pretty typical for any muscle surgery.
Today we tried some new fun (ha) things at vision therapy.
Optics Trainer via Virtual Reality
We got onto Optics Trainer and at first I wasn’t able to see any depth with the “tappy birds” game. He made some slight adjustments, moving my right eye image 6 degrees over so that everything was lined up, and I was suddenly able to see depth.
Before surgery, I was able to get to level 10 and sometimes even to 12 or 13 on a good day. Today I got up to level 6 so I felt like that was a success.
I really want to try Vivid Vision. I’ve tried so many different vision therapy tools and programs and I just feel like I should try this one too. My VT office doesn’t offer it so I am looking at doing it remotely with a VT clinic in Maryland that would coordinate with Dr. Dan. I should know by next week. I am super excited about it as I’ve heard it works wonders for people with strabismus, and I’m just excited to try something new!
Binasal Occlusion – Space Fixator
Dr. Dan brought out the “space fixator” which looks similar to this picture. It has dots all around and the idea is to look towards the middle and use peripheral to see all the outer dots. “Look for 12 o’clock, look for 7 o’clock, etc”
It was easy at first, but then he had me put on my glasses and he added binasal occlusion, which essentially just means he added a piece of tape to the inside of my glasses to encourage my eyes to be straight. At first he put tape on both sides, but I just shut down my right eye so he took it off the right side and put it even further over on the left. It was pretty mind blowing for me.
Even with tape on the left side, my brain still tried to suppress my right eye. Once I had the glasses on I was no longer able to speak in complete sentences or formulate thoughts, it did not seem helpful in anyway, which is probably a sign that it is helpful.
I definitely wasn’t able to keep my vision steady enough for the space fixator, so we moved to something less central and more peripheral.
Red-Green Mix (Luster)
I am getting really sick of staring at white walls, whiteboards and white everythings with the red/green glasses on trying to experience “Luster” or the mixing of the colors, but it seems to be something that I can do so we are starting there.
I tried doing it at near and far and while balancing on a balance board and I was definitely getting some mixing.
I was wearing my newly taped glasses, along with the red/green ones and at first I was seeing a distinct division with the colors where the piece of tape was. As I opened my peripheral and relaxed, the line sort of melted away and I was able to see just one white board. That was pretty much the only setting that I was able to merge my eyes effectively during my appointment so I will, shockingly, we doing this again for home exercises.
Gem
I tried the gem with the binasal occlusion glasses and it was more confusing. I could feel my brain working and hurting, but it was hard to really put my finger on what was happening. I would catch hints of depth, but saw the ring changing sizes more than I saw the depth changing.
It all takes so much focus on not focusing and I just haven’t figured out how to do that yet.
Measurements
I asked Dr. Dan to check my measurements and it was pretty tough because he would tell me to look at the little picture and as he moved the occluder on and off each of my eyes I could feel myself contracting and relaxing and focusing and unfocusing the whole time which kept changing the measurements.
It went from 6 to 12 diopters back and forth. The 6 was when I was relaxing, the 12 was when I started trying to focus harder. The distance is more pronounced, hanging around 16. I wonder when they will settle down?
Weeping, Wailing, and Nashing of Teeth
Today I felt very frustrated because I wasn’t able to do exercises the way I like to. There is some underlying fear. What if, what if, what if. I am putting so much pressure on myself and I just want to be successful. I definitely need to just allow the frustration and the fear and invite them along for the ride. Resisting them is NOT helping at all. Next year at this time I will look back and thank myself for sticking it out when it was hard.
Homework
- Eye Stretches- Keep everything super basic. Start with each eye separate, then do both together, tracking a pencil or fingers right, left, up, down, in and out while keeping my peripheral open.
- Red/Green Mix- While wearing the red/green glasses, look at a large white area and try to see the colors mixing. Use Dr. Cook’s methods for opening peripheral vision. Also try marching and moving closer and further away and tossing a bean bag.
- OKN Stripes- One eye at a time, focus on the right eye to improve reaction time. Then both eyes together.
- GEM Vectograph- Start super close where I am able to see the 3D and then try to move further away. Try to relax and just let it happen instead of trying to force it. Stand on one foot, march, tap the card with my finger, do anything to make it more effective. PERIPHERAL!
- VR – For now just do nature movies and practice opening peripheral up.