Click here to read about last week’s appointment.
How Did the Last Week Go?
We are in the middle of garden season. I have so many tomatoes, peppers, onions, apples, peaches and a million other things that need my attention, but I am making sure to put vision therapy first on my to-do list.
The last week was so emotionally draining and hard, up until this morning. I seriously dreaded doing my vision therapy exercises every morning because I knew that I was going to fail at them over and over.
Every time I pulled out the exercises, I was being reminded that I’ve gone backwards and lost some of my visual skills.
I’ve tried to keep an open mind and just not stress about the timing. I remind myself that I am still healing, that my eyes and brain need 6-8 weeks to heal and it’s only been 3. As much as I know those things, it was still super discouraging.
I’ve been searching for a new thought to help me feel better about things because, “this was a mistake” or “this is the worst” or “I will never accomplish this goal” are not particularly motivating.
I have asked myself questions like, “How can I make this more fun?” and “How is this all orchestrated in my favor” and “What evidence tells me that everything is exactly as it should be?” Then I’ve been sitting back and patiently waiting for the answers.
This morning, saying my prayers, an answer finally came to me. It feels earth shattering. The thought came in and I felt my whole body relax like I finally could believe that it was all going to work out.
I realized that I have worked for the last year and a half on learning to converge my eyes, or bring my eyes in. I have never had to work to diverge or move my eyes out, because that would just happen automatically when I relaxed.
My epiphany was that in order for my vision to truly be complete, I need to learn to both converge and diverge my eyes This surgery and the slight overcorrection is allowing me a fantastic opportunity to learn divergence.
I can still converge like a boss, I haven’t lost that, I just don’t need it right now. This surgery has uncovered a gap that needs to be filled, how lucky am I?
I feel ready to work and to just dig in and like it is all going to work out!
How Did the Appointment Go?
Today I was feeling so much more positive and ready to take on this new adventure so my appointment seemed so much better, even though I still struggled with all of the exercises more than I have in the past. Attitude is everything!
Binovi Touch Board
We spent the first 10 minutes on the touch board and it was really worth while! Dr. Dan kept the focused on my weaker, right eye the whole time and I think I went through 7-8 one minute cycles.
I always where red/green glasses during this activity and try to touch the buttons as quickly and accurately as possible. The colors usually switch so that only one eye can see and it forces both eyes to be engaged. Today he only turned on the color that my weak eye could see and it was quite a challenge.
From far away I could see the red circle lit up, but as I moved my finger in to touch it, the button would go gray (I was suppressing) and I would try to hit the wrong button. After several rounds, I started getting better, but I had to move at a snail’s pace and really take the time to allow my brain to make sense of these fun, new discoveries.
Red/Green Glasses
Next we spent time with me wearing the red/green glasses looking at different white items. I was supposed to notice whether I was seeing it as red, green, or a mixture.
Dr. Dan did not want me concentrating or trying to force anything so he got me walking in place, tossing a bean bag, while mindlessly chattering about my kids. The more I was doing, the better the colors were blending. It almost looked like waves. The distance definitely made a difference. Up close, the colors really meshed well, at about 6 ft the center was mostly green (left eye) and the peripheral was mostly red (right eye). At 12 ft the colors were mixing, but it was more blotchy.
The less I think, the better I seem to do.
Balance Beam with Quoit Vectogram
Next we moved on to the fancy balance beam. It slants down to each side so that my feet are turned slightly out. I walked up and down at first, and then I mostly stood in place and just walked a little forward and back as he held the quoit up to in front of me.
I was getting some depth, but only up close really. Then he had the great idea to try some binasal occlusion which basically means that he stuck a piece of plastic that was about one inch wide between my eyes to block some of my central vision.
The depth got better, but then it felt like I was only seeing out of my right eye. I did something, I still can’t explain it because I don’t know how I did it, and it made my eye go way out. It kind of felt nice for a minute, like my brain recognized the feeling, it was very strange. It didn’t last long, but it seemed like a good thing.
I guess that the whole time he was shifting the quoit from base in to base out my left eye was being consistent and my right eye was just bouncing all over the place trying to figure out where to go. Once he mentioned this to me and suggested opening my peripheral, I tried to see the whole quoit all at once, instead of seeing it sequentially. After I changed my focus, he said that both eyes were holding their position more more steadily.
We are going to figure this out!
OKN Strips
I have a negative physical reaction when I see those black and white strips going across the screen. Why do I hate them? I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t believe in them.
We did them for a bit at the very end of my appointment and I was getting a great response with my right eye, which is not usual, and a terrible response with my left. I realized that it was because I was trying to force the left and the right was just in Lala land.
Another reason to just RELAX and stop trying to force everything. Deep breathing, patience, all the things.
Homework
- Eye Stretches- Keep everything super basic. Start with each eye separate, then do both together, tracking a pencil or fingers right, left, up, down, in and out while keeping my peripheral open.
- Red/Green Mix- While wearing the red/green glasses, look at a large white area and try to see the colors mixing. Use Dr. Cook’s methods for opening peripheral vision. Also try marching and moving closer and further away.
- OKN Stripes- One eye at a time, focus on the right eye to improve reaction time.
- Chalkboard Circles- Open Periphery!
- GEM Vectograph- Start super close where I am able to see the 3D and then try to move further away. Try to relax and just let it happen instead of trying to force it. Stand on one foot, march, tap the card with my finger, do anything to make it more effective.
- VR (choose this or the GEM or Chalkboard Circles)