May has been very exciting in the vision therapy realm…also disappointing. So it has pretty much been like every other month.
A new vision therapist named Tracie started working at my VT office and she has over 15 years of experience in therapy. She is a COVT and a huge David Cook fan which I found intriguing. From the beginning, I have only been willing to work with my optometrist, but he suggested doing a few visits with both him and Tracie before I took a break for the summer and I optimistically agreed. She has new ideas that we haven’t tried yet and wanted to work things from a different angle. I’m always up for that!
I feel like they are taking such good care of me. I have so much gratitude for my vision therapy team. Brainstorming and planning, trying to help me get to a place where graduation is possible. With them pulling out all the stops, I decided that I better do my best to be dedicated to make it worth their time.
I made enough progress that I don’t have the heart to take a break over the summer so I am going to try to go in as often as possible between all the busy family things.
Successes I Experienced in May
-My midline is shifting from being in front of my left eye to being where the actual midline needs to be. This was achieved through yoked prisms and tape on my glasses.
-I finished and launched my first course, Mastering Peripheral. Creating it has helped me improve my peripheral so much! I have noticed a big difference in my exercises and daily life.
-I usually fall so far behind in May, but I was able to consistently do exercises 4-5 times per week and kept my eating pretty healthy, which is pretty much unprecedented for this time of year with kids. I was able to actually progress!
-I was given several new, very difficult exercises that had me on the verge of a breakdown. I was overwhelmed and frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. Instead of eating junk food and avoiding vision therapy, I decided to just take some time and feel gratitude for the gains I’ve made. I went on a longboard ride and just grinned from ear to ear knowing that 4 years ago, that would have been impossible. I played pickle ball and kept my eye on the ball and had some killer hits. I felt ready to keep working, instead of feeling like a terrible failure. It may seem simple to you, but it was a big win for me.
Struggles I Experienced in May
– My eyes don’t like to line up and sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try and try not to try and do all the tricks, I will never be able to keep my eyes perfectly straight and equally engaged in normal life.
-I want to keep trying, but I just don’t know at what point I need to accept that my brain and eyes will probably never be perfect.
May Appointments
I can’t remember every single activity that we did at appointments and for home therapy, so there are a few missing, but this was the bulk of what we worked on during my May appointments with my Optometrist and Vision Therapist.
May 4
We talked about how my midline is shifted to the left because my brain is so used to using just my left eye. Tracie explained that we were going to try to use the yoked prisms to reset my brain.
First I had both 8 dpt prisms base right for 10 minutes while walking around and exploring the office, paying attention to my peripheral and the shifting I felt in my body and the space around me. Then we switched both to base left and I did the same thing. It was so interesting to feel the shift in my body, as if one side were heavy and the other light. I was given the homework to do this 7 days per week for about a month.
We then did some work with the following anti-suppression chart. While wearing red/green glasses each eye can only see half of the letters. Because I have vertical and horizontal strabismus, the rows and columns don’t line up perfectly.
The goal was to look at the chart and move my head (ear to shoulder motion) back and forth and try to line up what both eyes were seeing vertically. We tried multiple distances and I was able to master this up close during my home exercises. In the distance, central suppression is still a struggle. But I learned to control the vertical deviation much more.
May 11
Today we tried a few new exercises that were very difficult for me. First, I was wearing yoked prisms with the right side base down and the left side base up. This created a forced diplopia (double vision) while I looked at a Marsden ball hanging from the ceiling.
The image of the ball from my right eye was up and to the right of the image from my left eye (see image 1). At first I was only able to control it by walking closer and further away. I was able to get the balls closer to being lined up by the end of the appointment, but it was a very confusing and frustrating process. and I was dead!
After working on this at more appointments and at home for a few weeks, I am learning how it all works and getting a little better although it is still so confusing for my visual system. When the balls are lined up exactly, that means my eyes are pointing where they “should” be if I were looking straight at the ball. Unfortunately, I can only achieve this by looking past the ball and diverging my eyes more. The hope is to bring where they should be closer to the reality, but it isn’t a quick process.
I have been using responsibility and control and it has helped so much. I cross my eyes and the balls separate a TON and then I do the opposite and they almost line up. It’s the same feeling as eye throws. I also have been using divided awareness to try to see where the string connects to the ceiling and the ground simultaneously and that seems to help.
I’m just experimenting with it and I have definitely seen a ton of progress between the first week and today (June 4).
Tracie then taught me another new exercise, yes, my brain was drowning at this point. She put transparent green and red sheets on the window, one inch apart and handed me red/green glasses. I was to look through the one inch gap at something far far away and this would make the middle space widen and I would see luster. I was able to “feel” a difference but saw nothing, except maybe defeat and frustration. haha
May 18
We started with the red/green window activity again and I still struggled. I have spent several weeks working on it at home as well and I feel like I am starting to get it, finally. I have to look at far away clouds so I don’t get caught up in double vision. I also use alllll the peripheral techniques from my Mastering Peripheral course (link). I set a timer and try each one for 2 minutes. So far, aquarium has been the winner as I try to feel my eyes “moving through water” to get them to diverge, but divided awareness is helping too. I need all the tricks for this one.
We went back to the overhead quoit which is an exercise I have done a lot. I was getting some amazing depth which helped give me a much needed boost after struggling with the others.
May 25
Dr. Dan tested my midline to see if the yoked prisms and tape on my glasses had helped shift my midline. As he tested me, I was almost perfectly aligned! He decided to remove the tape off of my glasses and they didn’t assign the yoked prism exercises again.
I had called into the office because I was struggling with the Marsden ball activity so we revisited it for a while. It definitely helps to have both Tracie and Dr. Dan there coaching me. I feel like it has gone SO much better this week at home after doing a refresher course with them. Deep breaths, peripheral, time, patience, and practice all help.
Last we went to VTS4 and instead of the ring being in the center of the TV screen, it was rotating in a circle. At first I was getting ZERO depth. It was so frustrating, I usually get such amazing depth with VTS4.
There was this magical moment when Dr. Dan asked me if I was using peripheral and I realized that I was completely hyper focused on the ring and seeing nothing else. I decided to pretend the room was an aquarium and especially pictured the “water” behind the TV and behind me and in a matter of seconds, the ring was floating in the air and I could reach out and touch it.
Aquarium viewing might be dorky, but I’m telling you, IT WORKS!
Overview
May challenged me in SO many ways. But I faced those challenges better than I usually do and I was able to see growth both physically and emotionally. Tracie is pushing me and using all sorts of new ideas to help me overcome my brain and I know we are going to get there!