To read about my last appointment click here.
How Has the Last Month Been?
There is always something to keep me busy, that’s for sure. This time my excuses consist of appendicitis for my oldest, coaching soccer, finishing corona homeschool with my kids and all of their end of the year activities.
We are officially on summer break and healthy and it is such a RELIEF! Instead of trying to catch up and remember what has happened at past appointments I’m going to just start with my most recent appointment and move forward.
I am working so hard on using both eyes to see as often as possible, it takes constant effort and focus, but I am getting better and faster and engaging both eyes and seeing with stereopsis.
Seeing all of the trees start to bloom and grow leaves has been so fun. Trees really look so different, intricate and expansive, when see with stereopsis. When I really get both eyes going, sometimes I feel a twitch and there is an added quality of slight movement in what I see. I don’t quite understand what it is yet, but it’s a signal to me that both eyes are engaged.
It doesn’t seem to cause any less strain and burning though.
For the last few months I’ve had little premonitions and thoughts about having surgery. I have thought that surgery might end up being part of this journey that I’m on, which isn’t what I was really going for…
Then I had a progress visit about a month ago, maybe more and Dr. Dan said that he thinks I may need surgery. Even though I had been already thinking about it, hearing it from him made it seem so much more real.
I felt pretty confused and sad about the whole situation and felt like a failure. There was also fear of the unknown mixed in. I kept wondering “why am I even doing this? Is it even going to work? Am I wasting my time and money?”
All valid questions that took some soul searching and coaching to work through.
I’m doing this because I feel like God has lead me towards this path and he has something amazing in store for me. It might be the growth that comes from working hard towards seemingly impossible goals. It might be stereopsis. It might be helping others through the same struggles and building others up. It doesn’t matter if it “works” completely, I know that I will grow in one way or another.
With Coronavirus, there have been some awesome virtual lectures through I heart VT. Dr. Cook, the strabismus expert, has done a few and they were so good! I need to rewatch and re-listen because he truly gets strabismus and he speaks my language. His concepts are so helpful.
Dr. Dan has been watching the lectures too and he has started using those same methods and I feel like my in-office visits are getting better and more effective every time.
How Have the Appointments Been?
Each visit has brought new ideas and we’ve tried new things and exercises. Dr. Dan has been giving me more homework that involves just my body so that I can do it anywhere and anytime with my life that has been so busy as of late. I’ve had to make more of a shift from a structured 45 minute homework session to 10 minutes here and there throughout the day. In some ways it’s better, other ways it seems less effective, but I know it’s 100% better than nothing!
I’m not going to go back in time and talk about every little thing we’ve done in therapy the last three appointments, I’m just going to talk about last week.
Binasal Occlusion
Dr. Dan has been asking me to bring a pair of blank glasses to therapy for a few weeks. He wanted to try binasal occlusion with me to see if we could have some success. All you do is put some scotch tape across a pair of glasses in the middle and then my job is to wear them.
I had doubts and asked a million questions; won’t it make my eyes separate even further?!? The science has to do with limiting my visual field so that there is less visual stimuli to worry about.
I am supposed to wear them as much as possible for a week and then we will reassess at the next appointment. Hopefully it’s a miracle worker!
Yoked Prisms
We started with yoked prisms. We tossed a bean bag back and forth for a bit and he was relentlessly conversational the whole time. He does it on purpose, asks probing questions, trying to get me to try to focus on two things at once. And EVERY time I forget and try to keep up the conversation and it is so challenging.
My question: How did he keep a straight face while talking to me??? Crazy hair and that constipated look my kids tease me about when I focus hard. That takes talent.
As soon as I start trying to engage in conversation, I either mumble and make no sense or fail at the exercise. It is getting a little better though.
At my appointment he said that my eyes were straight and engaged which was fantastic. It warmed me up for the rest of the more challenging activities.
Thumb-Pinky Rock
For this exercise I hold my hand up in front of my face in the hang-loose way with my pinky and thumb both extended. I focus on my thumb and then use my peripheral vision to see my pinky as well. When I do it correctly there are two pinkies in the back, centered around my thumb.
It helps me to use Dr. Cook’s “egocentric” strategy and try to see the distance to my thumb and pinky and visualize the space between and around each finger.
Dr. Dan has me switch to my pinky and try to see two thumbs. I put my hand at a distance where I can easily see double and then slide my hand forward and back to improve the distance.
Stereo Mirror
Dr. Dan ordered a new fun toy, the stereo mirror. It is really cool and really challenging. There are two cards and I can see each one with only one eye through the mirrors. The goal is to combine the two images into one. There are a ton of different cards that become three dimensional, but I just started with flat fusion, it is plenty challenging.
The most challenging part is that when I fuse the two images, the combined image is in front of my left eye, not centered in the middle. I can’t seem to get it into the middle and it is so aggravating! If I try to see out of my right eye, I loose the combined image completely.
He sent the whole system home with me so hopefully I will figure it out as I keep practicing.
VTS4
I was able to get some amazing depth during the stereopsis ring today and we didn’t even turn on the shake feature. Dr. Dan kept coaching me the entire time and it really helped me keep using all of the skills I’ve been practicing.
My number for the multiple choice vergence were pretty normal today. I was at 30 for Base In and 11 or 12 ish for Base Out. Fantastic considering that the entire week prior was spent being a nurse to my sick boy who had his appendix removed. I was thrilled to just maintain!
That’s a wrap, it’s been a busy month, I’m now feeling good about having surgery in a few months after we do a big push on therapy to get me ready of course.
Homework
- Stereo Mirror- Engage both eyes as you look into the stereo mirror and try to get the images to combine and be directly in front rather than just in front of the left eye.
- Thumb-Pinky Rock- Hold hand “hang-loose” style with thumb closest to my face and pinky furthest away. Focus vision on thumb and notice two pinkies in the background. Shift focus to the pinky and notice two thumbs. Try to keep the digit that is double solid and centered the whole time and shift hand further and closer from my face.
- Virtual Reality- Optics Trainer, pay close attention to how things look and feel right after I remove the headset. Does everything seem more open? What is the “shape of the sky” now?
- Gem Vectograph- Use Dr. Cook’s 3 techniques to see the vectogram take on greater depth and notice SILO.
- Wear Binasal Occlusion glasses for at least half of every day, and especially during exercises.